Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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