Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
