Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
