i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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