She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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