i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize