Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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