I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
