There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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