New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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