More tranny stories later!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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