ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
