If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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