even my farts smell like vagina
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
