your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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