"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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