Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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