Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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