Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
whose parrot is this?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
