My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
