i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
