he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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