blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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