Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
