I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
