ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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