Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
