If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Mom said you looked used
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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