I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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