You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
