so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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