We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
