she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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