i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
