you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
