how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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