Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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