shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
