Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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