best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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