i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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