Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Duck Duck Cougar?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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