Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
