Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We had to coat check the pizza.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
