I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
