Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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