so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize