after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm like, not good at living.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
