can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize