i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize