Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
