I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
