Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
