she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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