You can't motorboat a personality
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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