Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
