she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize