im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
