there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
