That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
